DRAW A FISH
Teacher: Class draw a fish.
Teacher:Pedro,why is it your
drawing is very dirty?
Pedro:Maam bagoong ito! he he he
Pag may time ka next week,Masyal tayo!
Ikaw bahala kung san mo gusto,ako ang bahala sa gastos
Basta tinda tayo KALDERO,PL ANGGANA,TIMBA,WALIS
Ikaw bitbit,ako sisigaw.!!!
CUSTOMER:Waiter Bakit antagal ng order ko? Ilan ba cook niyo dito!!!
WAITER:Ay, sir wala po kami cuk dito,
Pipse laang! Pipse ... he he he
anak: tay, ano english ng utot?
tatay: Wind of change
anak: yung utot na walang tunog?
tatay: sound of silence
anak: yung utot na may kasamang pupu tay?
tatay: Dust in the wind
Nagbebenta ng isda=SELFISH
Lahat nasa kanan=ALRIGHT Babaeng nakatayo sa ilalim =MISUNDERSTANDING Bulag mula pagkabata=LONG TIME NO SEE
Pedro:alam mo yung pusa namin kahit nakalagay sa lamesa at walang takip ang ulam namin di kinakain
Juan:maniwala ako? Pedro:totoo!
Juan:ano ba ulam ninyo Pedro: Asin
The Hotel Bill
Next time you think your hotel bill is too high you might want to consider this...
A husband and wife are traveling by car from Key West to Boston.
After almost twenty-four hours on the road, they’re too tired to continue, and they decide to stop for a rest.
They stop at a nice hotel and take a room, but they only plan to sleep for four hours and then get back on the road. When they check out four hours later, the desk clerk hands them a bill for $350.
The man explodes and demands to know why the charge is so high. He tells the clerk although it’s a nice hotel, the rooms certainly aren’t worth $350.
When the clerk tells him $350 is the standard rate, the man insists on speaking to the Manager.
The Manager appears, listens to the man, and then explains that the hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference center that were available for the husband and wife to use.
“But we didn’t use them,” the man complains.
“Well, they are here, and you could have,” explains the Manager.
He goes on to explain they could have taken in one of the shows for which the hotel is famous. “The best entertainers from New York, Hollywood and Las Vegas perform here,” the Manager says.
“But we didn’t go to any of those shows, “complains the man again
“Well, we have them, and you could have,” the Manager replies.
No matter what facility the Manager mentions, the man replies, “But we didn’t use it!”
The Manager is unmoved, and eventually the man gives up and agrees to pay. He writes a check and gives it to the Manager .
The Manager is surprised when he looks at the check.
“But sir,” he says, this check is only made out for $50.”
“That’s correct,” says the man. “I charged you $300 for sleeping with my wife.”
“But I didn’t!” exclaims the Manager.
“Well, too bad,” the man replies. “She was here and you could have.”