In an IGA checkout the other morning I was next in line to a woman who appeared to be on the way to the office and picked up what probably was her lunch that day - one banana, one apple and two small tangerines. Wow, definitely healthy stuff, I thought, until she asked for two packs of cigarettes. In my previous work there was this female co-worker who always comes into meetings with her tupperware of either strawberries or blueberries, which was supposed to be her lunch. The problem is that this woman is about 200 pounds and would be a great Pen­nington model. For about three years I’ve seen her at these meet­ings, nothing has really changed. Then there’s this plump lady who’s a regular in our bus stop probably headed to work but al­ways come in her sweat suit toting a gym bag, munching a granola bar and sipping something like a fruit shake. The gym owner should probably tell her to stop advertis­ing with her bag.

I almost forgot about these two ladies who are regulars in our train and always sit next to us. Every morning, soon as they get settled they would bring out their break­fast Starbucks oatmeals and eat along the way. Looking at their sizes, I determined oatmeal being a healthy food was just a myth af­ter all.

I didn’t know how to describe such people until the other day I saw a news clip about what they call a “workout impostor”, defined as one who walks around in work­out clothing to give the impression that they just worked out, or are planning to work out, but are really just trying to seem physically fit. An example was: Steve walks in here every day in his running shoes and sweats, but I’m starting to think he’s just a workout impostor.

So that’s it! Now I can start collecting my list of “impostors” beginning with these “slim impos­tors” who would eat oatmeals for breakfast and salad or fruits for lunch for show but then devour one box of pizza and a family-sized pop at home. Another one is the “smarty impostor” who lugs a briefcase and laptop bag on the train looking like the company will shut down if they even stop work­ing when in fact they just use the laptop to get into facebook or go into the internet to read novels.
And, of course, I see them all the time, specially in pinoy par­ties - those ladies who bask on the dance floor with their DI partner doing suggestive ballroom dances in their most flimsy dresses - the problem is that past fifty you really cannot hide those varicous veins no matter how good you dance or how expensive your dress is. They’re what I would call my “J Lo impostors”, and somebody ought to stop them.

< Prev		Next >