Aaahh - Spring! Like ducks in a pond we may still be wading in water from all the rain but really spring is here. Tulips are coming out, a couple of sunny days here and there, and all my neighbors’ gas lawn mowers are starting to sputter up. Another sign of spring - all around, curbsides are filling up with junks for pick up, junks that people have been treasuring for years until they decided they have no more room for them. And I’m one of them; well, sort of. They say that life is full of mys­teries - like that mystery of the missing sock, where you put a pair of socks in the washer and only one survives the cycle - believe me I have a drawer full of “widowed” socks, hoping that one day some of the partners will suddenly and miraculously ap­pear from nowhere. Then we have this junk mys­tery. Every spring I get rid of tons of junk but seem like by the next spring they always, surely double up. A part of this mystery I under­stand - like every time my wife vis­its Winners. I have always carefully begged her that when she brings home new wardrobe to get rid of those she doesn’t wear anymore. Occasionally she does - gets rid of one dress or a pair of shoes for every twelve new ones.

Unraveling a mystery is one thing. Solving it is another thing. Years ago when our daughters thought they were finally ready for the world they moved out and got their own apartments, of course leaving behind all childhood and teen memories.. I mean junk. It took them a year or so to realize that living on their own wasn’t that fun at all, that there were bills to pay and nobody to pick up after themselves, and they had to pay for food and even cook for them­selves. In a matter of time we were hauling them back to our place along with all their newly acquired junk ... I mean furniture and ap­pliances. That’s when I realize we had a big problem.

Just what do we do with all the furniture that has doubled up? That was the day my cars lost their rightful place in the garage.

After getting married and now with their own families our empty nest really isn’t empty at all. See, when they moved to their new homes they wouldn’t want their old stuff so they had to leave them behind. My only obsession now is how to claim back the ga­rage for my cars’ sake, and I get chided every time I get caught getting rid of stuff that “they will need someday”.

A month ago I had this bright idea. I started opening boxes, took pictures and catalogued the photos of every item. I e­mailed these to the kids (hoping their husbands would realize how much junk their wives left be­hind). These are yours, I said in my e-mail, claim them now cause at the end of the week they’re all going to Value Village. I noticed that the items have begun disap­pearing. Ah, I triumphantly told my wife - it worked! They must have been coming and taking their stuff. The other day I noticed some new boxes in one of the empty rooms. I opened one of them and saw the familiar junk staring back at me. My wife had been helping herself and moving the items she thought “may be needed some­day”. Ah - the mystery goes on...

< Prev		Next >