January is about to end and this usually means only one thing to me... It will soon be my mom’s birthday. My mom Julieta Joven Uy or Julie to most people was born on January 31, 1925 in Bacolor, Pampanga. A true Kapangpangan that she was, my mom was different from the typical Kapangpangan women because she didn’t know how to cook. She was more the working mom and worked in our factory with my Dad until the very last of her days. Despite that, she was first of all a loving mom to my three siblings and I. When we were young, she brought us to and picked us up from school everyday. She helped with our schoolwork. And when we were older, she was always there to guide us and help us find the right way. She was there to support us in all our endeavors. She was there when we needed her. She was witness to all the important things in my life. My mom therefore taught me the true meaning of mother’s love... ever present, unconditional and boundless. She left us five years ago but I still think of her and miss her a lot.
In recent Philippine news, a mother’s love is being given a bad light. I am referring to the case of Marlene Agular and Jason Ivler. Marlene Aguilar is the sister of Freddie Aguilar and author of several coffee table books on Philippine arts and culture. Her son, Jason Ivler, 25, is the suspect in the road rage killing of Renato Victor Ebarle Jr., son of a Malacañang official and eldest son of Marlene Aguilar. He had also been previously charged with reckless imprudence resulting in homicide in the death of Undersecretary Nestor Ponce Jr. in a vehicle accident in 2004.
Jason was arrested last January 18 in exchanging gunfire with NBI agents who entered Marlene’s home. This came after more than two months of hiding on Jason’s part and persistent manhunt by the Philippine police and NBI authorities. The Philippine National Bureau of Investigation did a fantastic job and risked their lives just to apprehend Jason. For a change, they made us believe that there are still those in the Philippine police force that can still be trusted and this gives us hope that there’s still justice in the Philippines.
Jason was arrested on an early Monday morning after exchanging gunfire with NBI agents who entered Marlene’s home. He was immediately rushed to Quirino Memorial Medical Center for treatment after sustaining gunshot wounds to the right shoulder and left upper abdomen. The authorities recovered a baby armalite and a bandolier from him. On the side of the authorities, two operatives were hit, but both are now out of danger.
Marlene, Jason’s mom, was also arrested Monday morning and charged with obstruction of justice because of her previous actions. For one, Marlene earlier came out in the media late last year claiming that Jason was in Hawaii and even publicly appealed to him to surrender. Her residence was also raided twice but still, Jason evaded capture. It was not until Monday that Jason was found in a storeroom at the basement of Marlene’s house after firing his gun at the police authorities. Marlene got out Tuesday night after posting bail.
She then immediately visited Jason with husband Stephen Pollard, an economist at the Asian Development Bank, at the hospital.
Since then, Marlene has been on TV quite a number of times, granting interviews or answering questions from the media. From the moment the cameras started rolling during the January 18 raid at her house to her visit to her son at the hospital where Jason was brought after receiving bullet wounds, she has been talking non-stop about the public con demnation of her “innocent” son. She has given so many interviews that people are reacting online. Some have tweeted, “Somebody stop Marlene Aguilar from giving out interviews. Seriously, somebody stop her!” Some have blogged: “Pwede manahimik ka na?” In one interview, Marlene, apparently showing absolutely no remorse, said, “I don’t believe I have any apologies to make” and was quoted as saying, “We do not decide who lives or dies, you know that is the choice of heaven.” People are getting shocked at how Marlene’s love for Jason has taken her.
Marlene Aguilar has declared that she will take a thousand bullets for her son, but I believe that parents, or in this case, a mother, should also find a way for her child to take responsibility for his actions. While Marlene’s actions may be a display of unconditional love, I do not agree with her. I believe that a mother’s love can be without bounds but it doesn’t mean closing your eyes on your child’s mistakes. Guiding, helping, getting help and imposing disciplinary actions on your child are also signs of unconditional love. I think that while parenting means doing one’s best to love and protect your child, side-byside to it is helping a child face the consequences of his actions.
The love and support shown by Marlene Aguilar to his son is amazing. But is it right, though? I think theirs is a classic case of forgetting what is right versus what is wrong. I can’t help but think that if I were thrown into a similar situation, what would I do? I decided that my first impulse would be to convince my child to do what is right, and not to make matters worse. (Though I also thought that hopefully, my kids would never be in that situation because they have their heads and hearts in the right places.) If Marlene had just reported his son or asked him to surrender, would it be taken against her as cold-hearted act? I think not. It would just show that her values are in the right place. What she did is obstruction of justice because she prevented and delayed a case from being investigated by the proper authorities. As the saying goes, “Justice delayed, is justice denied.” By hiding Jason, Marlene, in effect delayed and denied justice to the Ebarles and the Ponces.
I think that a mother’s role includes the responsibility to ensure that her children would grow up to be decent, reliable, responsible and significant contributors to society. She should also guide her children when they become wayward. I believe parents should not tolerate the misbehaviors of their children especially when these are already destructive. Tolerating them may impart the message to them that it is okay to do such things when really they are not.
I am really proud and thankful that my mom, and both my parents for that matter, for imbibing to me the right values. My mom always told us to do the right and the fair thing. I admit that I may not be in my best behavior all the time, as sometimes I can be annoying but I never go against basic rules of honesty and treating people right. These were the things that my mom taught me. I know that a mother’s love knows no bounds... that’s what the love of my mom taught me. However, I think a mother’s love should also be within the limits of honesty and treating people in the same way that we want to be treated. If my mom was still around, I will suggest to Marlene Aguilar to take lessons from her on the real meaning of mother’s love...
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